His Strength

I've been trying to decide if I should post this part of my journey as it is rather humbling, but I think I should.   A few weeks ago I attended a neonatal resuscitation class with a great group of ladies, one being my midwife whom I hope to train under.  I had gone through the book and done the questions and tests in it ahead of time as we were supposed to be familiar with it.  The instructor explained some things and we were given the written portion and told if we failed any of it, we would be given another chance.  During the test my mind blanked.  I have never been a good test taker and this was proof.   After I finished, I went back and double checked and then I began to question my answers and even change some.  I suddenly felt very nervous, sick even.  Next it was time to correct and we had to pass them to the right.  My midwife had the honor of correcting mine.  I was really hoping someone else would do that!  The teacher read the answers and I could hear my midwife checking some wrong.  (I want her to train me and I am getting all these wrong?!  Why will she want me to assist at births?)  I got my test back and found that I needed to redo two parts.  Ick.  I looked over the test and because I felt so sick at this point, I felt I would fail it again.  I prayed "Lord, if YOU want me to be a midwife, I need you to help me with this.  If I can't remember how to resuscitate a baby, how *can* I be a midwife?"   I redid the test as best as I could and turned it in.  At this point I was thinking I should just go home but figured I'd stay just to see how the rest of the test went.  Next was time to role play and show the instructor what we knew.  I didn't feel competent at all, I just felt really nervous.  When we were done, I told the teacher to let me know when she is having another class, I know that if I can go over it again, I will feel better about it.   I ended up getting everything correct on make-up test, which shocked me to say the least.  I also passed the course.  That night we had worship at our church.  I was praying about the day and going over the class in my mind when a still small voice reminded me that one most important step is left out of the sequence in our workbook - PRAYER.   Then, in my adult Sunday School class, the teacher was telling us how if God calls you to do something He WILL be with you.   I love how He gives me courage.  And I love knowing that His strength is made perfect in my weakness.  He must be feeling pretty strong with me around!